Seulemen Pour VIP
INFORMATION  

“When women hold off from marrying men,
we call it independence.
When men hold off from marrying women,
we call it fear of commitment.”
Warren Farrell

 


Articles



FEAR OF COMMITMENT


It is a fear of becoming involved or taking a relationship to the next level.

A person who is afraid of commitment enjoys dating but hate thinking about the future of a relationship, especially when it comes to marriage.

This person can easily fall in love or get attached to someone without being aware that he is really getting involved. It's only when the relationship hits the "next level," that he decides to escape the relationship.

SYMPTOMS

• Hurts the partner
• Start picking flaw
• Becomes annoying
• Stop communicating
• Embarrass the partner
• Disappear for a period
• Becomes very demanding
• Maintain a certain distance
• Privilege his personal time
• Points at partner’s faults publicly
• Don’t involve the partner in his fun time
• Brake up, comes back then brake up again

OVERCOMING FEAR OF COMMITMENT
Perhaps the first step starts by re-evaluating the relationships concept, adjusting the expectations and regaining control.
Acceptance
It is essential for any people who usually have commitment problems to understand, realize and accept the fact that they are facing a real problem.

Discover the problem
Defining and understanding where the problem is the key to solve it.

Discover the source
It is only when someone understands the trigger and source of this fear that he can begin to work on fixing it.

Take a decision
Refusing to surrender to this fear will not happen magically. Taking control over one’s life and deciding to change are the first steps towards solution

Learn to trust and respect
Trusting someone is being able to surrender or to lose some anxiousness. Respecting the partner helps the person who has fear of commitment to overcome his own instability by respecting the bases of a stable relationship.

Take an action
Getting professional help can bring a solution beside the necessity of understanding that compromise is the key to success in any relationship.

“Unless commitment is made,
there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.”
Peter F. Drucker


CAUSES

Fear of change
When someone is used to his everyday’s activities and routine, he might reject unpredictable changes by fear of losing control over his life.

Compromising personal free time
Many people are highly independent and would not like to jeopardize their freedom by restricting to a couple’s rhythm, lifestyle and energy. They would rather spend their pleasure time alone rather than to fit someone else's needs.

Lack of sexual variety
Commitment means monogamy; which cuts off sexual diversity and leads to restricting to one sex partner.

Constant appraisal need
Few people need to have many adventures, just to feel wanted and not submissive to a single person. They are afraid of being frustrated, if not highly appreciated by the partner.

Emotional baggage
Hurtful memories and baggage from previous relationships or parents’ divorce can cause someone to run away just in order not to repeat history.
Sometimes parent’s divorce can influence the child to a point of refusing commitment when he reaches adulthood.

A matter of priorities
With the pressures to be a career person and other family demands, many people have set their priorities and are not willing to change them or fail at their current responsibilities.
Simply not ready to add a long term relationship to their schedule.

Fear of failure
Committing involves risk. Some people feel that it's not worth a try unless it's 100% certain it will work out.

The pursuit of “something better”
This issue is entirely bound to accepting what life gives us. Some people always want more and most of the times end up with nothing at all.

Not in Love Enough to Commit
Very simply, the person may see you as a fun person to date, but is not in love to the extent of committing at the end.